


Football Is Not (Meant To Be) A Contact Sport

by Mez10000



Category: Mario Strikers Charged, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Football (Soccer), Hidden Relationship, M/M, Mild Innuendo, Mild Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 17:11:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11339790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mez10000/pseuds/Mez10000
Summary: The Mushroom Kingdom was awash with football fever. A second grand tournament had been held - financed by the kingdom - attracting all the biggest names. Luigi wondered if they would be doomed to repeatedly play every new sport the Princess developed an interest in.





	Football Is Not (Meant To Be) A Contact Sport

The Mushroom Kingdom was awash with football fever. A second grand tournament had been held - financed by the kingdom - attracting all the biggest names. Luigi wondered if they would be doomed to repeatedly play every new sport the Princess developed an interest in. He also wondered how Peach was affording all these sporting events. Still, he did notice a distinct lack of Princess abductions and general mischief whenever the events were held, so perhaps there was a prudent line of thinking behind it all.

Luigi himself was playing, naturally. Even captaining a team, which was still a novel experience for him. He had half dreaded that he would have to play as part of a team under Mario. As much as he loved his brother, there was no denying that there could be a scary competitive streak there. Instead, he had a group of affable Koopa Troopers and some much-appreciated peace, as each team were generally housed separately in the interest of keeping the peace.

Today, they were playing their closest rivals on the relatively friendly Vice pitch. Luigi was glad that for once, lava and lightning bolts would not be a large part of the game, though he supposed you could never completely rule out the danger in the Mushroom Kingdom. The constant hum of the highly electrified fence bore testament to that. Knowing his luck, the pitch was built over a dormant volcano and it would reawaken during the game.

Their closest rivals were Waluigi's team of Dry Bones. They had become something of a surprise fan favourite with the crowds at the Lava Pit after thoroughly trouncing Bowser in the early stages of the competition. Waluigi had been enjoying a mixed but mostly positive run of games, balancing dramatic wins with narrow losses, but never being totally outplayed. In contrast, Luigi had played well and consistently won until he had faced Peach on the pitch. The result had been so embarrassing that people had accused him of going easy on the Princess. That was until he admitted that he had played his absolute best game, and Peach was a ruthless demon on the pitch. Ever since, his confidence had been just a tiny bit shaken, but that was enough to make him miss shots he easily would have scored with at any other time, and it was only thanks to the Koopas stepping up their game that their position in the tournament hadn't slipped further. As a result, the betting scene around the tournament - run by the Mushroom Kingdom treasury - was predicting a narrow win for Waluigi with odds to match.

Luigi took a deep breath and automatically began his pre-match pep talk. He only half knew what he was saying, something about hard work and perseverance paying off and having a good time out there, but the fine details escaped him. The team appreciated it anyway, and then they were off, stepping out onto the pitch. Luigi swayed a little at the sea of spectators chanting and cheering. The crowds always seemed bigger than he remembered them, but he was heartened to see a good spread of green over the crowd. He was also secretly delighted at the amount of purple in the crowds, not that he could safely admit that to many people. Steeling himself and smiling far more widely than he truly felt, he waved at the crowd as he took his place on the field.

The captains took the centre facing each other, and Luigi swallowed at the sight in front of him. He had seen Waluigi in his team kit before, hell, Luigi had watched every game he happened to be around to see, but this close up, Waluigi seemed so much more handsome. The armour they all wore was custom tailored to not only withstand the new dangers of the game but show off the captains in their best - and most formidable - light. Waluigi’s armour accentuated his thin frame and gave him a little bulk around his chest where it was sorely needed. He was practically glowing under the attention of the supporters.

"Hey, lean green!" He leered. "Don't think I'll be going easy on ya!"

Luigi gave the smallest of inclines to show he understood. To most, the taunt would seem business as usual between the supposed rivals. Off the pitch though, they had amicably agreed that should they play each other in the tournament that they should play their best game and give no special treatment simply because of their relationship. Sealed with a kiss, naturally, though anything more would have to wait until after they were long gone from the tournament.

"Come on," he shot back with a little grin.

Luigi looked at the opposing team - if only to wrench himself away from Waluigi's shorts. He could easily see how intimidating the team could be to face, especially with the skeletal grins of the Dry Bones. However, he was privy to the inside scoop that Derek knits after a match to calm his nerves, Tom paints portraits professionally and only signed to play because Jamie had her heart set on entering the tournament, but needed some moral support getting onto the pitch. Of course, their Kritter keeper was an enigma to everyone, but that was the same regardless of team. There was some suspicion that they were spying for King K. Rool, but Luigi thought they were most likely bored and enjoyed the game as much as anyone else.

Luigi's thoughts were cut off by the coin toss, and he dragged his focus back to the game.

Waluigi won the coin toss, deftly passing the ball to Derek and sprinting to get a clear angle to pass it back. One of the Koopa Troopers (Boothe, loves crime novels) intercepted, tackling Derek and passing to Luigi. Luigi dribbled up the field, taking a brave early shot at the goal before Tom could wrest the ball from him. The Kritter blocked the shot easily, tossing it back downfield to Waluigi.

The game had an easy back and forth to begin with, the Dry Bones maintaining a very solid defence in response to the Koopa's eager stabs at goal, but neither had the opportunity to push for a goal as they tested each other.

Then the incident happened. Luigi was in possession, focused only on evasion and another shot at goal. He sensed rather than saw the blur of purple coming towards him, but had little chance to swerve. He tried, feinting left, but Waluigi knew better than to fall for it and swept his foot between Luigi's own to swipe the ball. Luigi was not sure what happened next. The world became a blur of limbs and he hit the ground. Then an all-too-familiar weight settled on him and knocked the breath from his lungs.

Luigi heard a low voice asking, "You okay?"

The world made a little more sense after he blinked. Waluigi had fallen onto him - his back to Luigi's chest - and had twisted himself round to try and scramble back up to his feet.

"Fine," Luigi whispered, with a little of what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Then, the moment over, they scrambled back to their feet and back into the game. While they had been otherwise occupied, the Koopers has wrested control of the ball and were making a push for the goal. 

Luigi sprinted forward into the clear in time to take a pass and gain the ball. The setup was perfect - there was a clear shot at goal and Luigi knew he had to take it.

A deathly hush fell on the stadium as Luigi drew back, preparing the kick. Everything else seemed to disappear until there was only him, the ball and the goal with its keeper. Luigi kicked. The ball hit the back of the net. The stadium erupted into cheers and jeers and Luigi flashed a victory sign to his supporters before being hugged and clapped on the back by his team.

Play was reset, and now one goal behind, Waluigi and his team were forced to play more aggressively, actively pursuing a goal of their own. They wore the Koopers down, slipping downfield at every meagre opportunity, only being stopped by the expert attentions of their own goalkeeper.

Then, suddenly, the Kritter made an error. He dove left. Waluigi kicked right. The purple half of the stadium erupted into wild cheers as Waluigi ran round the edge, lapping up the attention. Then, with absolutely no coincidence that his lap of victory had ended up with him facing Luigi, he performed his infamous victory gesture.

Luigi wanted to disappear - he could feel the hot flush rising in his cheeks. Luigi had never thought that he would be standing in front of thousands of people while his boyfriend gestured to his crotch at him, yet here he was, and worse, the supporters would have thought it more strange if Waluigi had not performed the gesture. The celebration had been dubbed the 'crotchchop' by fans, and by this point, it was expected whenever a goal was scored.

Halftime was called, and as Waluigi walked to his team's locker room, he called, "Suck it, green bean!"

Luigi pursed his lips to hold back his retort of: "Maybe later."

The sparkle in Waluigi's eyes suggested that he knew what Luigi would have said anyway. He was always good at reading his partner.

There was only a quick break while the teams got water and orange slices (and the supporters got decidedly less healthy refreshments, courtesy of the Mushroom Kingdom's event catering services, which was a booming industry these days) and Luigi gave another pep talk with a little more passion than he had half a match ago.

"We're equal now, but that last goal was a lucky shot. Keep it tight, don't let that score get to you. Boothe, Leif (who has heard every joke you can make about trees and he's sick of all of them), support goal a little bit more; they found we're weaker on our left side and they're going to use that if you let them. Hang back a bit and don't let goal work too hard."

Both Koopas gave a nod. Luigi turned to Jeremy (genuinely likes long walks at sunset and doesn't know why his personal ad was rejected).

"Jeremy, you and I are going for goal. You've kept your head down so far, and played a good game, but we can go for great, now. The gloves are off."

The team looked at Luigi's hands, where the gloves were most definitely still on.

"Figuratively. Come on team, let's make them sweat a little."

The team thought about the skeletal nature of their opponents pointedly.

"Again, figuratively!" Luigi flapped his hands and lead the team back outside.

"Wow," he faintly heard Boothe whisper to his teammates behind him. "He must really hate Waluigi. He's not been this fired up all season!"

Luigi bit his lip. If only they knew...

The supporters were in good spirits if their rambunctious cheers were anything to go by. This time, Luigi felt more at ease with the great crowd and didn't have to force the grin on his face as he waved at his fans.

If Luigi’s team were motivated by the half-time pep-talk, it barely showed, as Waluigi’s team were giving as good as they got. Play was frantic, a blur of purple and green as the ball changed possession every couple of kicks. Neither side could secure the ball long enough to get a clear shot at goal, and both teams were aggressive in tackling the ball back from their opponents. Both teams knew that whoever scored first would - in all likelihood - win the game, and as time ticked down, that possibility was made all the more sure.

Jeremy was in possession of the ball when that situation abruptly changed. Jamie tried an overambitious tackle but in her haste tripped. She rolled as she hit the ground, planting her skeletal face on the electric fence and howling with the sudden pain. 

The field at least temporarily clear, Jeremy dribbled down towards goal, and Luigi was waiting to capitalise on the opportunity. Derek moved to intercept but arrived the moment after Jeremy kicked high. Luigi leapt after it, a crackle of electricity around him. The world narrowed down to a sharp point - the ball before him - and he grinned. Suddenly, the game felt all too easy and even the idea of nerves felt laughable. The ball rocketed past the Kritter keeper, nearly scorching a hole in the back of the net.

Luigi landed to cheers and he sprinted around the edge of the pitch, arms outstretched like a child pretending to fly. As play reset, the atmosphere was one of pure elation - at least for the green-clad side. With only a handful of seconds left, there was no way Waluigi’s team would have a chance to score.

To their credit, they gave it a fierce try, attacking the goal with a renewed fervour. Waluigi even came close to a desperate attempt. But with Luigi’s team focused solely on the defence, the whistle blew and the score still read two to one for Luigi’s green clad and extremely happy troop of Koopas. 

They soaked up the happy revelry of the audience for a moment as was their due, then retreated back to their locker room for a private celebration. Luigi exchanged congratulations and praised his team one by one until he got to his locker. It was ajar, only slightly, but it still made him pause. He could have sworn he had locked it before the match. Not that he did not trust the people working behind the scenes at the tournament, but it never harmed anyone to take precautions.

Curious, Luigi opened his locker. A single red rose lay inside, with no card or markings - not that he needed any to know where it had come from. Luigi shut the door quickly, already feeling himself flush. Unfortunately, the locker slammed with a metal clang, drawing the team’s attention like a gunshot. They swarmed around him, sensing their captain’s embarrassment and a good opportunity for some teasing.

“What’s in the locker, boss?” Boothe asked with a grin. “You’re red as a tomato.”

Jeremy didn’t wait for an answer before he cracked open the locker and peeked inside. “He’s got a rose! Who’s the lucky girl, captain?”

“Just the rose?” Lief scoffed. “From the way you’re looking, I thought she’d left something much more risqué.”

“Maybe it’s got some secret meaning, like meet me in the penthouse suite in minutes...pants optional,” Booth chimed in.

“O-okay, fun’s over,” Luigi stammered. They were hitting perilously close to the truth and Luigi desperately wanted to move off the topic. “Don’t you have a celebration to get to?”

The Koopas could see the change of subject clearly enough but had enough respect for their captain and enough eagerness to celebrate their win that they let the matter drop, and returned to getting changed. Luigi quickly shucked off his armour - that was to remain onsite and locked up between matches - but kept his undershirt and shorts on. Their team compound was just a short jog away, and Luigi was looking forward to luxuriating in his own shower when he got there. He only paused to place the rose carefully inside his sports bag and then he was off.

“Hey, boss!” Boothe called. “We were going to go to the lounge to celebrate. Are you going to be there?”

They asked after every victory - and many of the losses, too. It was not that Luigi disliked the company or the drinking, but the lounge was always loud and rambunctious. On balance, Luigi would prefer to be curled up with a good book. But he did make the effort to be sociable every once in a while, for team moral.

“Maybe in an hour?” he said, thinking of a leisurely shower and the chance to get changed into something nicer.

The team gave a decidedly dirty round of calls and knowing noises.

“Oh, we see how it is,” Jeremey said with a wink. “We’ll see you after you’ve had a chance to see your mystery lady.”

Luigi flushed and hurried out, not even willing to try and correct their assumptions. Any objections he could make would only have added fuel to the teasing.

He exited and made a beeline towards their team complex. The sports compound could only be entered by the players and the staff working behind the scenes, and organised as a little village behind the stadium. It afforded a bit of safety and peace to the teams between matches, and all done to the meticulous standard Luigi had come to expect of the Mushroom Kingdom’s sporting events. There were numerous little buildings: partly for staff to sleep on site, partly for storage. 

As he was passing by one such little building, a long arm darted out, seizing his wrist and pulling him into the narrow alley between two cabins. He was whirled around, back pressed firmly against the wall. Luigi blinked, finding himself face to face with Waluigi.

“I got your present,” Luigi whispered, leaning forward to give his boyfriend a quick kiss. “How did you even sneak it in there?”

“That’s a secret, Eyeballs,” Waluigi shot back, giving Luigi a gentle tap on the nose. “Congratulations on your win today.”

“It was luck. We were up against a very formidable opponent, it could have gone either way.”

Waluigi raised his eyebrows. “But it didn’t. You were very fierce yourself.”

“No hard feelings?”

“Never.”

“Got any plans for the evening?”

Luigi always asked, not that he could ever be part of them. The team complexes were too heavily guarded for either of them to sneak in, and the neutral areas like the lounge were too public for them to be seen together as anything but bitter rivals.

“Wario owes me a drink. He made a decent profit betting on our game.”

“He bet on me?” Luigi asked incredulously.

“His logic is that if I won, I would be buying the drinks in a fit of generosity,” Waluigi drawled. “If you won, I’d need a drink to cheer me up.”

“You do look like you need cheering up,” Luigi said with dry sarcasm.

“The odds were better on you, anyway. You showed them - stupid bookmakers.”

“So you’ll be at the lounge later?”

“Unless you know of anywhere else to get a drink around here?”

“I’ll be there with the team. Was just going to freshen up first. I guess I’ll see you there.”

See, but nothing else. Keeping a low profile was ridiculously hard at times, but Luigi was counting down the days to the end of the tournament. Then, it would be so much easier to sneak off to each other’s places where they did not have to pretend anymore.

“I’ll keep an eye out for you.” 

Waluigi pushed him against the wall, capturing Luigi’s mouth in a brief yet breathtaking kiss, before waltzing off with a sly wink.

Luigi stayed a moment, catching his breath and giving Waluigi enough of a lead for plausible deniability before he also left the alley behind him, hightailing it to the complex and the relative privacy of his own rooms.

It was under the shower, letting his muscles relax under the torrent of hot water that Luigi was struck with an idea. He got himself clean and dry in a hurry, digging out a shirt and waistcoat and some freshly-pressed dress trousers. There might not be a big call for formal wear at a football tournament, but Luigi believed in being prepared, and as Peach had already created a few occasions where formal wear was needed, the habit had stood him in good stead. As it was, he might be a touch overdressed for the lounge, but he already had a reputation for being well-dressed for the occasion, so he doubted anyone would bat an eye.

It was the finishing touch he was so excited for. Luigi carefully trimmed the stem and leaves of the rose Waluigi had gifted him, turning the gift into a corsage which he pinned in place on his left breast, above his heart.

The evening’s celebrations in the lounge were nothing special in itself. A few drinks and congratulations between friends and teammates, a few funny stories of life from outside the tournament and a lot of joking around. But Luigi could feel Waluigi’s eyes on him all night, from the far corner that Wario and Waluigi had set up camp in. 

Only two people in that room really understood the significance of Luigi’s mode of dress, but that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this to a family friend who took us to a sports bar and the match that was being played inspired this piece. I don't know if the family friend would approve of the mangling of the rules of football...or the homoromantic overtones...but it's dedicated to him anyway.


End file.
